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Kevin Sessums thread

Cunt

Oui oui.

[quote]Kevin Sessums thread

I have lately come to believe that all threads on DL are Kevin Sessums threads.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

The guy who played Stuart on Big Bang Theory?

[quote]La lumière bleue

Kmart?

Avant

Bavard. Trop bavard.

Oooh she had a fancy plop tonite. On someone else’s dime, natch!

Natch! That festering mouth is drooping more than ever.

Je ne connais pas cette putain.

*

Les obsédées de Sessums sont le blennorragie de DL.

Je cherche un homme Nord.

The grifter manages to grift some sweet Santa Fe digs! Hope the owner enjoys the perfume of eggy plops that longer long afterwards. At least the place won’t be left reeking of cat piss and shit!

Fancy ambassador luncheon, place card name misspelled. Is that the guy who hired him to do nothing?

[QUOTE] Fancy ambassador luncheon, place card name misspelled. Is that the guy who hired him to do nothing?

Yes, that is him.

The “casita” digs have a washer/dryer! St Ally is off the hook for scrubboing drawers but I bet Bav doesn’t use them much, if ever.

Our grim friend decides to plop at home tonight as he doesn’t wish his friend to have to pay for dinner!!!

A slight dry beg - for the second time today alludes to paying for Santa Fe thus being tight on funds.

Reassures that cooking solitary garret plops is a sensual experience not a sad one.

Sensual ffs every last shit he takes is described thus - buy a thesaurus.

When I'm short on money, I stay home. And I don't whine about it on FB.

That last dry beg/“my sensual kitchen”/plop post has to be the most pathetic thing I’ve read in weeks. It was a direct, passive aggressive plea to any frau out there who still has pity on him. If cooking is so “sensual” to him, maybe he’d like to explore other soft foods the toothless enjoy! Rice Pudding, applesauce, cottage cheese, farina or Maypo, (oh I forgot “HERE COMES “TWO HONEY’S”) and how about some soup? Just trying to help….remember: HOMELESS NOT TOOTHLESS!!!

R24 Thank you. And would it kill the bland bitch to use herbs and spices?

Today's alliteration abortions:

"a felt failure, a manifested fall, the trammels of travel"

"step into the wondrous wander"

"an essential element of her elegance"

"filled with families - the French are family focused"

He’s trotting out the dead mom again.

tonight’s plop is really uninspired, a flop frittata, with the usual suspects. Eggs, blue cheese, asparagus, prosciutto and a lemon Madeline.

Proust wept.

Word salad, nay, WORD DIARRHEA…..yearning to be one of the “cool kids”, drinking instant coffee, yet shitting in Starbucks.

This one is EYE CROSSINGLY TERRIBLE.

“Yes, I succumbed to looking at the early "looks" on Vogue's digital site last night before going to sleep and a bit this morning before it felt like eating too much chocolate with my first cup of instant coffee, chocolate that shouldn't have cost so much money since it's finally nothing but another kind of Nestlé (like my instant coffee, come to think of it), a chocked-full conglomerate of which I rather quickly had my fill without a sense of nourishment - which I guess is its point. We don't need to be nourished all the time. We need ornately branded boxes of expensive chocolate on which to gorge. But I decided to drink another cup of I-kid-you-not instant coffee instead of such cool-kids Kool-Aid. And yet I hope they all had fun at the after parties when they took the ornately branded garb off and could relax a bit. It all just looked so uncomfortable to be bound up in it all. I never liked playing dress up even when I was a I-kid-you-not kind of kid who never wanted to be a cool one until I was too old to be the kid part.”

R29 It is tearing him apart that he is not young and invited to the Met Ball. I have never witnessed someone who hung onto his youth so desperately, and refused to age with grace. He never was never even close to the level of fame the people invited to this event were. And it is tearing him apart. He is lying in his, ahem "garret" in Paris eating his miserable day-old plop and mad as hell at Zendaya and Cole Escola.

The tea on Amy Fine Collins. If you'll recall, Sesshie had lunch with her recently. They're cut from the same cloth. Refusing to pay for basic services, and tipping $3 at the salon. Shameless grifting. Cheapskates.

R31. delectable tea! That Joan Juliet Buck is another female bav. They mirror each other…Legends in their own minds

Kevin Sessums is an asshole, but he is a human asshole who isn't famous enough to be incessantly stalked here, have accidents and ill health wished on him, and to have his health problems mocked

R31 it makes sense - the jealousy that one's dear friend Amy is invited to hob nob with one’s fantasy Jon Groff et al must really sting.

Imagine the creation Martine’s Atelier could have concocted!

je suis désolé - Marine!

Imagine being bathed in the light when the sun rises or the moonlight shines. It’s like there is light out of nowhere. Who would expect that? Light coming from actual light sources! It’s a miracle. And r33 as you’ve been told, nobody is doing that stfu.

The Bav doesn't seem to get that celebrities get invited to the Met Ball, not celebrity writers. I actually agree with what Bav says about the Met Ball, but you know damn well it's because he's no longer the framer of fame...

Lafayette, Je Suis Ici!!!

R33, do you just copy and paste that? The language never wavers…

R39 yes, I think that is its flare gun to Muriel…

But it doesn't work. Any number of his posts have been removed.

And we're still here.

Amy Fine Collins and Hamish Bowles don't have the funds to live the legendary lifestyles they feel they deserve.

R42. Let’s not forget Joan Juliet Buck who REALLY is a female bav. But AFC is a fucking nightmare also. Her peanut head, and Alfred E Newman ears

Buck edited an important magazine. And is she homeless now? Discarded by her social circle?

I'd like to nominate "A Human Asshole" as the title of our next thread.

This evening’s plop, crowned by a mousetrap and a poop encrusted pine cone. Bon appetit bitches!

Hero of the stupid *FINALLY* wrote a true statement. After reading about his super rich friends helping each other design their lush gardens on their palatial Long Island estates, he writes this…

“Suddenly I felt I had not figured anything out but had copped out instead and all that I had really figured out was how to fail by putting a spiritual patina atop it.”

Then he wrote some insipid blather that boils down to something that’s supposed to be poignant, but comes across as moronic.

“Onward.”

“Just Onward.”

I’d rather be waterboarded while having Matthew McConaughey scream “JUST KEEP LIVIN’!!” in my face for 24 hours straight.

I've known a few phonies like The Bav who once in a while offered an accurate self-reflection... and shortly after, the wall went back up and the official blather was back...

I once worked in development at a small respected museum with a small development staff. The President was very very grand. I kind of liked her even if she was ridiculous. She told me she had a frenemy who was a miserable bitch (in so many words) but they managed to be effective together raising fund and I had to meet her and agree to work with such a cunt (in so many words) before even considering taking it. I met her and she was a real hard assed pushy urban unattractive cunt. I took the job, I dunno, out of stupidity and hope springs eternal. Our offices were separated by the open space where our secretary worked. We were on our third secretary in 6 months. One of them went out to lunch and never came back. She fired the other one. We soon lost this 3rd one. The offices were glass boxes so there were two walls of glass between me and the cunt. One morning I was looking vaguely out into the secretary's office and I caught this cunt grimacing and grinding her teeth and she looked up and saw me and continued, like a wild animal, a hyena maybe, and apparently I didn't mask my horror quickly enough. Later that morning we ran into each other by the files and she said "yes I know, I'm a miserable cunt" and made a self satisfied but revolting smacking sound with her mouth. She fired me a few months later after I corrected some of her research.

The bav shamelessly shits and “works” in Starbucks, yet dines at his favorite local creperie….

DOES THAT MAKE STARBUCKS HIS FAVORITE “CRAPPERIE”???💩

J’aime le bleu

"Yesterday I emailed an old friend after reading a big story about him which reminded me why I've always adored him and he emailed back that he loved that I was emailing from Paris and I had "figured it out." Today as I was walking to the Opera Bastille to do some work here at Starbucks and eat at my usual little creperie I love so much close to the Opera, I was scrolling through Instagram as I stopped at a corner waiting for the light to change and saw that another old friend had posted about a famous design person helping him design the gardens in his big new home on Long Island and had photos of them on a private jet doing so. In yet another everything connects moment, I remembered that when I had my little studio on Rue du Bac back at the turn of the century when I briefly lived here in Paris that I had given over the lease to his boyfriend and him when he was first trying to figure out his place in the firmament of fame and fortune that so many of us young gay men navigate when we move to NY or LA - and sometimes Paris. Suddenly I felt I had not figured anything out but had copped out instead and all that I had really figured out was how to fail by putting a spiritual patina atop it. "

Here's what. At his advanced age, you don't need a "famous design person" helping you to design your gardens. But I will say, as a fellow old, it feels very good to have a place to live, instead of hopping from one bare-bones, shared-bathroom, tiny Airbnb to the next. As he plods his way toward his seventies, this schtick will become more untenable. The section 8 brutalist housing in Hudson would've been a more practical choice than this thing, in which he pretends to be happily broke and adrift. And all the while, Fraus he wouldn't give the time of day to IRL are cheering him on.

A human asshole, indeed.

Also, "atop it."

God will he ever just STFU?

"the turn of the century" 👏😵‍💫🤡

The turn of le stomach

The fraus who lavish praise over the most trite details of The Bav's daily life, to which he seldom responds, is the same cult mentality of the MAGAS who think Trump is the Second Coming, even though he wouldn't piss on any of them if they were on fire.

Listening to his “fake masc” voice fruitily “bellowing” “brav-OH!” at the end of some idiotic opera made my fucking skin crawl. Then he made up some bullshit lie about a “southern couple” being taken aback by a rape scene. When he proudly proclaims “YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!….Well, you could, but I don’t.” That’s the classic battle cry of a fucking liar. Qualifying every “embroidery”, so we, the non subscribing Shitstack public, will buy into it. He’s really getting more pathetic by the second.

"I was trying to find some audio clips this morning of Elizabeth Taylor talking to me that the BBC had asked me about purchasing for a documentary they are doing about her, but I was instead led to this one. I wrote a column around this time last year about Mary and included a couple of audio clips for all subscribers, free and paid, to hear - but this one was only for paid subscribers initially. So I thought I’d release it from behind its pay wall this morning in memory of my own mama and daddy.

Now I’ll keep looking for the Elizabeth ones.

And forgiving myself."

Oh okay you human asshole.

I will never not be grateful to the looney toon troll for giving us the perfect descriptor for this absolute piece of grifting, dry-begging shit: "A Human Asshole."

BRAVA!

R59. It’s really a gift.

Oh good lord. He's really tried playing both sides of the fence in order to not lose the niche followers he has on Substack, But his latest word vomit is really something. He wants to, on one hand, keep his Zionist paying subscribers, and on the other hand, pretend he's aligned with the college kids who are protesting Zionism. He's all, "I can see both sides," because he wants your money -- he doesn't care what side you're on.

At the end of the day, he has no principles and just wants your money, whoever you are.

R61. Spot on. He really doesn’t care about the social issues he blathers on about. He wants “back in”, to the “glitzy” world that he threw away thru his rampant drug abuse. It kills him every time the Met Ball or The Oscars roll around…that *was* his world and now it isn’t. So, trudging up 8 1/2 flights of stairs, back to his “writers garrett” with some strawberries and blueberries for his “Nestle Fitness Cereal” will have to do for now. How sad that is.

I’ve looked at Bav from both sides now;

Through Fall and Light, and still somehow;

It’s Bav’s delusions I recall.

I really can’t stand Bav. At all.

Has the Bav abandoned his “serial” story for his shitstack readers? Wasn’t the last installment “incest adjacent”, with a mother and son playing “glam rock dress-up”…maybe more???? I didn’t read anything but the excerpt, (cuz I won’t give this queen a dime), but I do believe this has gone the way of his online “magazine”, (in both incarnations)….he rapidly loses interest when he doesn’t get the accolades he thinks he deserves…the fraus fell for his dying dog grift….but he hasn’t gotten any real traction after that. People were still smarting over him taking off with the dough. Oh well, maybe another installment will magically appear one day. Perhaps inspiration will strike him whilst wiping at Starbucks.

It’s been a doozy of a day in Bavland!

We’ve had dead mom and bonus dead grandma.

Light when no light.

Disgusting bleu cheese pasta plops now with added Bav flair of honey and Dijon 🤢 - Julia Child Parisian fever dream.

R65. He’s really super proud of that plop! Of course, it has the same, soft, “plug and play” ingredients. Salmon, asparagus, pasta, blue cheese, honey, olive oil. I can’t imagine eating the same six things every evening. You’re in PARIS, and this is the best you can do? Oh I forgot, she’s toothless.

Doesn’t the much salmon lead to mercury poisoning / brain damage?

Oh, wait….

Kevin Sessums

R68 Thank you Captain Brain Worms for spelling it out for us that we are discussing your favorite Human Asshole.

And here's a complimentary FF for your trouble.

R67 Salmon is low in mercury, and this includes wild and farmed.

He went to a dinner party and talked about his shoulder and then shut up because nobody cared. So he listened. And he found out who taylor swift was and got bracelets to lure children in the metro with. But it’s not part of his construct and he’s not the audience.

R71. He wants to be one of the “COOL KIDS”, so if he has to spray his foul, methy, spittle all over a young fledgling gay to be considered “with it”…. SO BE IT!!

But HE’S *NOT* A CREEPER….no sireee Bob!! NOT AT ALL!!!

He's looking for one of the Fraus to put him up for a night in Chicago:

"I have an interesting interlude booked into my pilgrimage in America right before I settle into Santa Fe for the month of July. I am going to take the train up to Chicago from my brother's place in Brookhaven, Mississippi - yep, the Amtrak train from New Orleans to Chicago stops there - and am going to overnight it to be in Chicago for a day and night to see the musical version of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil at the Goodman with music and lyrics by Jason Robert Brown and book by Taylor Mac. Then getting up the next morning to take around an 18 hour Amtrak to Santa Fe to arrive on July 1. But the hotels and airbnb's in Chicago were too expensive for me and I don't know the city at all re: neighborhoods and wanted to be downtown in walking distance of the Goodman so I decided just to book a bed in a quad room at the Freehand which was in my budget. It's one night. I can cope with maybe three others in the room. But sleeping in a train seat on a Friday night and then a bed in a quad on a Saturday night and then another train seat on a Sunday night is going to be an interesting few days. I'll be ready for that nice place in Santa Fe by the time I get there. But this is how I roll on my pilgrim's life now.

Onward."

😵‍💫💰🤡

Regular accommodations are too expensive and he doesn't know Chicago at all... well, that will be an interesting interlewd! What could go wrong?!

Also, that's an 800 mile/12 hour journey. To see a musical in Chicago at the end of June. Before schlepping 18 hours July 1 to Santa Fe. Miss Crazy's gonna be sweatin' like an oldie!

This right here is a picture of a shared quad room at the Freehold in Chicago, and my personal idea of Hell. Can you imagine almost-70 Bav scampering up the ladder into his bunk and tooting the night away in a room full of strangers? Actually, that's likely his idea of Heaven. All this for $32.

the bedbugs are free

R78. He *already* had a bedbug issue at THE JANE HOTEL, and wasn’t welcome there anymore if I recall correctly. He received a rather FROSTY reception the next time he tried to book a room there, and all of a sudden, there “was an issue with his debit card”😂, and a Frau actually paid for his room. He never stayed there again….choosing the hostel “because it’s closer to my favorite meeting”. SURE JAN. This Chicago trip already seems fraught with pitfalls….but the light at the end of the tunnel?? A SHARED BATHROOM!!👃🏽💩🚽🧻

The stench of a summer quad room will have Sesshie all a quiver

36 hours in coach on Amtrak to watch a two hour play? Is there no local theater to consume in New Orleans?

R81. Perhaps you need to be refreshed on the fact that culture NOURISHES HIS SOUL! 😂😂😂 Plus he’s also a huge fan of the INSIPID Taylor Mac…let’s not forget he ran into the woods and watched this bozo “workshop” some shit in Hudson in the dead of summer. Mac was also responsible for that dogshit play where Nathan Lane looked like a hydrocephalic rooting through a pile of dead bodies. Sorry, but Taylor Mac seems to me like “the most successful Radical Faerie EVER!”….(meaning he actually *DOES SOMETHING*!)…..but, because the Bav lives “outside the frame of fame”, he MUST suckle at his sagging teat and proclaim that they are friends. Lovely. 36 hours of travel for a two hour play is TOTALLY “bav math”, so R81, I tip my hat to you, because SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT! ❤️

That Bav math ain’t mathin’!

Limn for your life, Bav

Bav = Kevin Sessums.

R84 = Aspie troll who has a crush on Bav and Bav wouldn't piss on if he were on fire. Toodle doo!

Didn’t R84 bless us with the wonderful Bav moniker “A Human Asshole”?

STOP THE PRESSES!! The Human Asshole actually scrubbo’d his own clothes and proclaimed himself a pilgrim (once again) *NOT* a tourist!! Because he was able to figure out a washing machine? Really, Queen? The place was deserted, and he posted an “artfully arranged” photo of overturned laundry carts and the machines. (YAWN)…. I suppose “a pilgrim” is better than saying “homeless”. It sure is another way to avoid the stark reality of the truth. You definitely “cross over” when you freely admit to shitting in Starbucks, and then give a demented reason why! 😂😂

Maybe the stench got too much even for the olfactory challenged Frenchies!

“I Shit at Starbucks: A Memoir”

Serialised on my shitstack for subscribers only featuring Smell-o-Vision

R85. I can’t stop laffing at that “Bav meets Brady Bunch” floozies collage…it gets me every time. What I would give to have seen the bav fem it up in EQUUS. He’s DREADFUL….and we’re supposed to think he really wants a “floozie”? Sure, Jan. And Liberace never found “the right woman”…. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Third memoir incoming: “From Grass Harp to Crass Plop: Bav, Story of a Lady”